ikea offered me pencils.
i used them to tag next to their own logo.
cheap propaganda.
more soon.

This post is meant to be read with the lights out.

If you can't do so, simply close your eyes and imagine it.

are you really happy with your life right now?

I

Mother,

Jesus came into my dream last night and told me to repent.

Noone can never imagine what i'm doing to you in my dreams.

Even
Jesus
himself
got
the
creeps
.

II

I felt Jesus getting the creeps inside me.
I felt his cheeks turning red in shame.
I felt the fear embracing him when he saw my dreams.
This was the slightest second of my life i believed he might exist.

In 12 days i will be 21.
I have no joy for anything.
No worth in work. No love to study.
I have no courage to learn anything from teachers.
I have no patience to wait until i'm a professional.

I want to sit at home and listen to PJ Harvey.
If i was a woman i would like to be her.
I would like to fuck with the stage and make love with music and keep the world on my vocal chords.
These are my stories from the city.
Boring and shallow.

But, you'll have to wait and see my stories from the sea.

Jony said he fucked her a thousand times.
All the way in 'n' out.
He said she gives head and asks for no return.

Pornography practice and temporary companion.

He said she never says no and i should call her anytime or keep her for the difficult days.
I still don't know which are the difficult days i'm always told about.
He said i could fuck her and piss on her leg and she'd even be happy afterwards.
No charm.

I should start worrying about myself for still listening to such things.
Maybe I should stop eating spicy food before sleep too.

Inside the gap between vast emptiness and the idealism of void

this is where i lose my mind.