thoughts on death

i masturbate
while listening to sounds of dolphins swimming
coming out of the speakers
from an old record they sold me for relaxing
and the cars are passing down the street,
so ordinary and so
compelling

thinking the fall off the balcony.
i jerk like i did
when i was 16
small teenage dumbhead
fat little kid with hyper hormone efficiency
and i throw my gum off the balcony.

the old lady sitting on the ground floor
became dead lady
two years ago.
she was collecting my gums
as i was jerking around.

now
who will collect my livers and lungs
when i fall off to the floor
like those chewing gums did
after i masturbated
when i was 16
?