HALF EMPTY R.I.P.

24.2.09 - 16.1.11

When everything feels bad,

nothing can really stop it from getting worse

and worse

and even worse.

There is no ethics

There is no morality

There is no measure

There is no boundaries

when we talk about misery.

SIZING

We perfectly fit, when nothing else does

When everything fits, we don't

TIMING EXERCISE I

at the same time tomorrow

i will be thousands of miles away

by still being slightly the same man

with a bit of a jet lag

the same time tomorrow

will not be the same time, as i will be

in the other half of the earth

according to a map i learnt to follow

but nobody said is correct.

at that same time tomorrow,

what time will it be?

POSITION EXERCISE I

you railway dog

black lipstick kisser

you rotten flower

bending inside the vase

desperately seeking charms

the water can only do harm

split the veins in two

from the right rises gold

from the left rises water

now change your position

to north

what rises where?

HOSPITAL SATURDAZE

Starting with a deep breath

i still owe to myself

and a knife that never found its place

between the bones of my chest

we both shared a vision today, separately

of motherly lapses and brotherly loves

and we stared at the windows and aisles

of the hospital saying

there's more people waiting

cause, there's more people dying.

Our alphabet skills and grammar couldn't help

but, make knowledge our privilege on

how to give up and make some tea

We'd rather be drinking coffee tonight somewhere far away

from the doctors and the vending machines

somewhere between the cold grass and the

banned pictures of boys kissing bosses

car crash lovers bitting shoulders

but, i know you can't sleep after you have some coffee

so, i'll just settle for that.

TOM FORD'S BLACK ORCHID

I took some time and remembered tonight

not everything, but, just

the simple things

that i can't explain.

We always meet in eerie silence.

I always forget the facts

I never forget perfumes.

We met between Ana Karina's illusions

and Pessoa's house,

right where nowhere crosses

dreaming of nowhere.

Remember i never write love poems.

I haven't told our story for a while now

but, i remember you because

you make me proud to believe that

i know everything

when i acquire nothing.

Once, you claimed i stole your whole personality.

I told you:

"I only steal from the best."

Descending into the void of the everyday

with a new identity

i'm not myself

i'm the greatest expense the I has made

now that our pockets are empty

we'll finally find out

what we are

willing

to share

THE BUREAUCRACY OF SEX

MANIFEST

Dreaming of love
in this union of egoists
is like sending a letter to god,
he will never write back.

COFFEE WITH THE DEVIL

The Devil knocked on our door for sugar
yesterday
and i offered
nothing more than
a smile.

The Devil should drink his coffee black
and must eat no candy.
That's how he wonders in my dreams,
he comes from time to time.

I don't like the fact that he makes his presence
so visible to me, but,

i guess it's just his idiosyncracy.

The Devil knocked on our door today
and i was at bed again
so, i left him waiting
till the World's End.

DROPPING OUT THE CITIES OF NO MORE

Just give me another kick
unlike the one i used to wear as a cloth
give me a flag and a soul
a name with no shame and no ancestors
give me a history with no mystery
give me weeks open for everybody to visit
not only on Sundays between
3-4 in the evening.

It feels so cold inside the deserts of my soul.
Spare me a song and a filter for the mouth
a pare of boots, laced and bruised
like the bodies of the witches
anxiously hunting action.
I got to meet every boy that
fell at your feet.

Keep me clean in all my stains
and let me loose.
Always keep for me an excuse
and a wish for i'll live forever
through the winters
and keep in mind to feel.
I only steal to stay real.

NEW SHAME

New shame arrived today

in the family

a boy that never learnt

how to walk on steady feet

and wash his hands

from failure

is lifting the weights of fate

like another

television superhero

Remembering the welcomes

and the hot lies

the snakes stayed inside holes for a break

and we enjoyed

the video-game nights

when we just wanted to

fuck with the stars

and trap them between

tongues and teeth

The cement dried sooner tonight

and my feet are stuck

up to my ankles

like a hollow statue

eaten from the inside

by the wormwood of

reality

The kids of the neighborhood

i always wished to befriend

wrote on the pedestal

of my stomach:

"Always desired

this life to be mine, still

i'm the last in line."

REPRESENTING THE STREETS?

Stealing precious moments
for cheap art photographs
common-life burglaring costs me all the way
if i'm down for being around
then there's no excuse

Love is rats circling the wheel
I'm stuck on a chair without arms
watching

Sincere words fail to find
those great mouths of the downtown
Recommended breaths of all sorts
cut the dirt in two
we chose to stay in bed
like all good girls do

For a moment,
all of it felt like my nails
abandoned my toes
only to be hammered
on my casket

FIRST COME LAST SERVE

Felt unable to fit in a world

of fused retrospectives and

nauseous ideas

full-time nothings rusted.

Short atonic everythings

only staying for a moment

spitted off roofs and

i'm the first one clapping

for myself to quit.

Don't think i'm arrogant to only talk

in first person,

but, i've never felt another one.

LATE COMER

Gathering stones to throw

to closed windows

It's that temptation of breaking the law

that keeps pushing me forward.
We're injecting chaos
so, there's enough guilt to the walls
slowly pushing them down
and there's
dust panic tar
and a withering sense questioning
if
age is the trouble
or
the trouble is age.

Unsatisfied comes next to my name.

Don't talk to me about belief,

I was promised a hurricane,

but,

I only got a breeze.

I was born unfortunate

I was born, unfortunately

OVEREXPOSED

Everyone advertises,

now everyone's advertised

self exposed

well-hidden, like children.

Memory pays and i've seen you

passed, wounded and broken

A door left open

for you to come in

to a room without windows.

The door is locked now.

I never "lived in bars"

but, always behind them.

What i love the most,

is when people play with headlines.

ALIVE BUT NOT TRYING

Your hair gets whiter every day father,
i observe them
hair whiter hair, every day
like snow that occupies the empty space
of my soul

I would like the world to drown
every time i piss
like the death that redeems
the cripple's family

Don't run,
We will burn together
the forest
inhaling sulfur and carbon
from the sorrowful
factories

Your hair gets whiter every day father,
and it makes me emotional
to think that you didn't try to meet me
in the best of my years.