you enter my car
dressed like a hippie sailor
you are wearing a white shirt
blue stripes and a coral pendant

i paid earlier today for overpriced gasoline
coffee and chocolate donuts
i know you like them
i like them too

we hit the road and talked about hot air balloons
and near death experiences
we clenched our fists down the desert
bullet straight on las vegas avenue

0n a 34th storey window
a light was lit
yet we continued our way through
as the neon light holocaust
embraced your bedroom eyes

we passed a huge white limousine
and gave them middle finger treatment
the traffic light turned red
as the speed gauge reached 100 miles

love is a disgusting thing
but, you're shy and still nineteen
i've seen the lion's teeth in deep sleep
and i'm doing no wrong with such things

i don't care about health care
and you're at the right age to die young
i got illusions but you got too
i still have faith and you should have too

this coffee tastes sweeter now
i know you like it
i like you too

MMIX

My favorite records 0f 2009.

A Place To Bury Strangers - Exploding Head
Bat For Lashes - Two Suns
Brand New - Daisy
Cold Cave - Love Comes Close
Converge - Axe To Fall
Cult Ritual - S/T
Defeater - Travels
Former Ghosts - Fleurs
Lewd Acts - Black Eye Blues
Rise And Fall - Our Circle Is Vicious
Pissed Jeans - King Of Jeans
The Twilight Sad - Forget The Night Ahead
The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart - S/T
Touche Amore - To The Beat Of A Dead Horse
White Lies - To Lose My Life

+ Paint It Black, Propagandi, Health, Blind To Faith, Blacklisted, Manchester Orchestra, The Horrors

Edit: +The Maccabees - Wall Of Arms, Another Breath - The God Complex

HOSPITAL CHRISTMAS

my eyes found a fix, a different one, a new one. anxiety or oxygen are dry blood, still liquidated in my hands.
i got a wheelchair and a human being to push me through the aisles.
i got intravenous injections and cortisone running through my blood.
i found new people to joke upon.
i have a list of people that i'm afraid to call nowadays.
every new day founds me asleep on my carpet, lonely, lonesome, a day closer to death.
post-hospital wounds added and a fear that other people might be more of a human than i will ever be.
yet i never heard something as beautiful as

four
wall
freedom

THE SNAKE OF THINGS TO COME

i'm guilty
like an empty bottle in a paperbag
cheap and not amusing
anyone
anymore
i was full of liquid
sweet alcohol
a sense pleaser
so aspiring and desired.

with such poor ways to hide myself
i don't know if it's my illusions working on me
or the world
drunken
/
sober
is constantly revolving around me
still possibly not

PARA/DOCS

hire me now
in a record store
with all the cobains
and the coltranes
and the strummers
and i'll be happy in-between the legacy of the dead

hire me now
in a field
watching the birds lair on my shoulders
as i stand still, imitating
a scarecrow

hire me now
to stand as a surveillance camera
in the hum of the city
cctv of other people's lives

hire me now
to play myself
the absolution in paradox
stalked the mistakes of other people's routine
in order to forget
mine

I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS 7


DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
BAM DIM DAM DUM
HERCULES ABUSED MASTER ZEUS
NOW WE HAVE CAUGHT THE ALLIGATOR FROM THE JAWS

we are the leftovers of generation x
the generation "what?" with nothing left to protect
we serve the dominant's praise to an early grave
and rape each other to feed our satiate hate
society is chasing tranny prostitutes
but what's wrong with just a couple dudes
dressed as girls
playing stick and balls
after their 9 to 5 hell?

forfeit our generation with the respect it deserves
we are silhouttes flying blind to a freedom untied
but we've lost faith in anything divine
are we destined to raise our kids in diet soda and cable tv
or should we drag their bodies right into the body drop pit?